Friday, May 5, 2017

Work now, play later







Lucky are those who were born wealthy for they are already enjoying the fruits of their parents' hard work. For the unfortunate ones, we are working very hard to support our current needs and to secure a better future for our children.

Most of us want a better life and a secured future. If we want a comfortable life tomorrow, we should work earnestly today. But don't forget to rest and play in between. Remember, life is not always about work. Always find time to enjoy life after a long days work.

Have a great day!


Sunday, April 30, 2017

People will never forget how you made them feel

Maya Angelou, an American poet once said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." 

This message of Ms. Angelou is indeed correct based on my personal experiences. Honestly, it is so easy for me to cherish those people who cradled me during my darkest moments and I will always remember them as long as I am alive. Those good-hearted people made me feel that I am not alone and they were by my side when I fought those battles.

On the other hand, it is also hard for me not to forget those people who inflicted pain in my life - those people who shoved me down and destroyed part of my life. And I also cannot forget those people around me who just watched me go down the drain without exerting a single finger to pull me out of that darkness. I so cannot forget them until now. But don't get me wrong, I have no plans of seeking revenge on those people. I'm just saying that I cannot stop myself from feeling hurt whenever memories of these people crossed my mind. I forgave them, the wound was already healed but their scar left a bent in my heart. My mind want to forget the sorrow that I have experienced from them, sadly my heart doesn't want to. 

These experiences also taught me great things. These people inspired me to do good and to be of help  to the needy. Most importantly, it taught me the value of sincere empathy. I really feel for those good people who are in the abyss of their lives, with no one around them who are brave enough to lend a shoulder to lean on or spend time to listen to their desperate cry - I feel for them because I've been there. 

These difficult experiences in my life inspired me to create this blogsite so that I can share my experiences to the world. To show them that they are not alone. 

I am also starting a website www.onelifenetworx.net. This is a site where you can share your problems and our small team of volunteers are willing to offer their personal advice for free. There are many of us who in one point of our lives were desperate and cannot find someone to lean on. With OneLifeNetworx, we are offering ourselves to reach these people through the power of the internet. 

Feel free to visit us at OneLifeNetworx at www.onelifenetworx.net. There is hope. You need not face your life alone.


Thursday, April 13, 2017

The day my father died

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On the evening of October 11, 2016 at around 7 pm, I was about take my evening bath and plan to sleep early when my phone rang. I answered it and it was my mom. She told me that my dad was having problem breathing. I was panicking when I asked her, "Where is dad now?  What is he doing?". She replied, "He is sleeping now but I am scared". I said, "Okay, wait for me and I'll be there in a few minutes." 

I hurriedly went to my car and I made all the necessary preparations to rush my dad to the hospital. When I reached my parents' house, the door was locked unfortunately I left my keys somewhere in my house. My mom who is already weak due to old age and because of her Parkinson's Disease, slowly reached for her own keys and went outside the house with her walker so she can open the gate for me. It really broke my heart watching her as she struggled to walk towards me, but I waited patiently. As soon as she opened the gate, I helped her walked her way back inside the house. Once inside, I told her to rest in the couch while I attend to my dad. When I entered my parent's room, I saw my dad laying in the bed with froth of saliva in his mouth. I shouted at the top of my lungs, "Dad!" as I ran towards him crying. My whole body was shaking and I have no idea on what to do. My hands was trembling as I look for his pulse. His body was still soft but cold. I shook his shoulder while shouting, "Dad wake up! wake up!" I have no knowledge of doing CPR but nevertheless I pumped his chest will all my might and hoping for any positive response from him. I suddenly heard my mom entering the room and I told her crying, "Mom, dad might be gone already." She said in a soft voice, "No, try reviving him, he is just sleeping." I tried pumping his chest again, this time my tears are intensely flowing in my eyes. After a few minutes, I stopped and I started crying helplessly as I told my mom who is already beside my dad, "Mom, dad is gone." She answered in a soft cry, "What will happen to us now?" I did not answer.

I called my older brother and told him about dad. He arrived in my parents house together with his wife, who is a nurse by profession. My sister-in-law once again performed CPR but we still got no response from my dad. We tried calling 911 and surprisingly said service was working. The 911 operator gave us instructions on what to do as we wait for the response team to arrive. Ambulance came in less than 15 minutes. They again performed CPR using their machine. They knew that my dad was already dead but they politely asked us if we still want our dad to be brought to the nearest hospital. Since we do not know the correct protocol was, we just said yes. They carefully loaded my dad to the ambulance and my brother accompanied them to the hospital. 

Me and my mom were left in the house - still shocked with the sudden event. I then received a call from my brother who just arrived in the hospital and told me that the doctors officially confirmed that my dad was already dead upon arrival. The hospital was also asking him to immediately remove my dad's corpse otherwise they will send his body to their accredited funeral home. I knew my dad has a memorial insurance plan but I have no idea what company was it and I have zero knowledge on the procedure on how to avail such service. Since I was still in the state of shock, It never crossed my mind to search for my dad's file to look for his insurance contract and have no intention to read or even interpret his insurance policy. My only goal that moment was to transfer my dad to a reputable funeral home so we can laid him to rest with grace. With that in mind, I searched the internet and looked for a reputable memorial service for my dad. I saw St. Peter's Chapel-Novaliches and luckily the place was also near our area. It was already 11:00 pm when I called their number. I was praying that someone will entertain my call considering it was already close to midnight. To my surprise, a nice lady entertained my call and she gave me a detailed step-by-step procedure on how to avail their service. She even consoled me during moments when I would pause to cry. I will forever cherish the services of St. Peter Chapel Novaliches. I felt their presence during the darkest time of my life. The services of St. Peter was so seamless and very organize. We never encountered any single problem during the entire duration of the memorial service. The facilities of their chapel were very clean and their staff were very professional.   Truly a world class service. They are truly a DeathCare expert company! And by the way, my dad was not a St. Peter Chapel plan holder, imagine we got all those wonderful services even if my dad was a non-policy holder! 

That's why I am planning to get a memorial plan from St. Peter. I will also encourage my two siblings to follow me as well. Again, maraming maraming salamat sa inyo St. Peter Chapel! More power to your company!


I would also like to take this opportunity to thank the people behind 911-Philippines. I am not really a President Rodrigo Duterte fan, in fact I did not vote for him, but his 911 initiative is truly very impressive and I trust this administration will do more wonders for the our country! I salute all the people behind 911-Philippines.


I would also like to thank Forest Park Memorial Park for being so helpful when we availed their service. Staff of Forest Park in their Novaliches Office was so accommodating, they also explained to us in details all the features and guidelines of our memorial lot plan. Thank you Forest Park!


And finally, I would like to thank all our friends, family, relatives, and co-workers who visited us during my father's wake. I will forever cherish the love you have given us. Again thank you!


You might also want to read this related blog post, "My Road to Recovery"

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

My road to recovery

I can honestly say that I am far better now as compared six month ago. Last October 11, 2016, was the most unforgettable day in my life so far. I took a leave from work that day so I can attend to some important matters in my house. Just so you know, my house was under renovation during that time. We were constructing an additional bedroom with a small kitchen for my parents. My parents are at their mid-70's and they were staying in our ancestral house a few kilometers from my place. I've been living separately from them for almost twelve years. But in 2013, I got into an accident resulting to a bone surgery. Since I am living a single life, I had no choice but to stay in my parents house for more than three months. Before the accident, I had no knowledge of the condition of my parents. I knew they were already old and already suffering from some sort of sickness. My dad was already taking maintenance for his hypertension and diabetes while my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. It never crossed my mind that both my parents were very unhappy with their situation and was so unprepared with the challenges of old age. Since childhood, I always run to my parents for all my daily problems be it petty or major ones, but during my short stay with them it made me realized that they were no longer the same go-to person that I grew up with. In fact I felt so ashamed that my aged parents were the ones who cared for me during my accident instead of me that should be caring for them. But I had no choice. My mom and my dad were the only ones who can help me that time.

I am very thankful for the love that my parents showed me during that difficult part of my life. I was unable to walk and almost useless that time. Even going to the kitchen just to get water to drink was impossible that I had to ask my mother to get it for me despite her weak legs and body. In the morning she made sure that breakfast was served and all my other daily needs were taken cared of. My dad, on the other hand accompanied me on all my appointments and check-up with my doctors including all my physical therapy sessions. My dad was known to be impatient but he was with me throughout the long queues as we waited for our turn for my doctor's appointment. I cannot recall hearing any complains from him and I will be forever grateful for that. 

A post shared by Angelo Villamejor (@jojovillamejor) on

It took me more than three months to endure the pain of my broken fibula (leg bone) and painstakingly taught my self to walk using my crutches. I may not have overcome it without the support of my parents. That is why I promised myself that I will repay them will all my love and time as soon as I recovered from my accident. Honestly, it went well during the first few months after my recovery, I remember staying in their house instead of heading to my own place. I recall forcing myself to leave early from work so I can join them in the dinner table. But my work slowly crept back into my schedule and ate back all my extra time intended for my parents. My daily sleepovers on my parents house turned into weekly visits. And there was a time that when I rarely visited them in a month. I was so guilty for not fulfilling my promise.

As expected, my parents health condition got worse. My dad's diabetes was already affecting his behavior making him restless and irritable resulting to frequent fights with my mom. My mother on the other hand was getting weaker and weaker due to her Parkinson's disease. My two siblings do not have a full grasp of my parents health condition that time and this was probably the reason why they were not as alarmed as me when it comes to their health. I also notice that they do not have the same urgency that I have to take care of our parents physical, emotional, and financial needs. I cannot blame them since they already have their own family to nurture. Without me knowing it, they just silently appointed me as the caretaker of our parents which somehow infuriates me. Not because I do not want the responsibility, in fact I am honored, what I just hate is children starting their own family and forgetting their responsibility on their aging parents. I strongly believe that all of us, not matter what our marital status in life should be obliged to care for our parents until their last breath. Anyway, my mom's frequent complaint about my dad's behavior and their frequent lovers quarrel prompted me to toy on the idea of relocating my mom to my place. She loves the idea but she asked me to construct a separate room and kitchen for her to preserve both our privacy. That's the story behind the renovation in my house. At first, the room was just intended for her, but as the renovation progress, I slowly modified the design so that it will not just fit my mom but will also accommodate my dad as well. In short, I want them both to relocate in my house - without them knowing it. I was hoping if we all live together under one roof, I will have more time to take care of them. Unfortunately, a few days before their planned relocation, my father died. He died October 11, 2016...

His death was a surprise to me. It was regretful on my part for I was not able to fulfill most of my promise to my dad. Me and my dad have more memories together as compared to all other members of my family. He is my mentor, my travel buddy, my friend (sometimes my enemy), my inspiration, and he is my counsel. Most of me is because of him and I am proud of it. Only if he knew how important he was to me. I regret that I never had a chance to say that to him when he was still alive. I just wish that he is watching over me now so he will know how I deeply love him.

I have not yet fully recovered from his tragic death, but I'm a work in progress.

Photo of my dad with my nephew


You might be interested with this related blog post : The Day My Father Died

Sunday, February 5, 2017

Deep sadness

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Its been more than three months since my father passed away, honestly I still carry the pain of his death inside me. His death left a deep hole inside my heart and no matter how hard I try to move on with my life the deeper that hole gets. There was no day since he died that I never cried. For his memories always bring tears in my eyes. I believe this pain will stay with me forever for his memories are permanently embedded in my heart and mind. I am fine with it, because his memories are worth the pain.

My dad was not a perfect father, but for me he was the best. He was my shield, my sword, and my strength. When I was young and until the day he died, just a mere sight of him made me feel secured. I considered him as my fortress who protected me from all the agonies of this life. Now that he is gone, I feel I have no more armor to face this world. It is like I am all alone in this battleground, fighting a war all by myself. Good thing he taught me how to be a strong warrior and molded me to be an independent and resilient survivor. Most of  all, he indoctrinate the power of seeking Divine guidance and to obtain inner strength in the event of despair. For my dad helped me realized that we cannot rely too much on other people to survive. Instead, we must use our own feet to reach our own destiny and to use our own hands to mold our future. The greatness of our future is dictated by our own actions and our failure is a product of our own decision.  

My dad was a big influence in my life and I know he will still continue to inspire my life until I leave this world. The legacy that I will hand down to the next generation will be shaped by his love and his guidance. I am sad that my dad has already ended his journey. But I am glad he is already happy in heaven.

I miss you dad... so much.

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Dad, you are the best father ever






When I was young you taught me how to read and rhyme,
And showed me laughter under the smiling sunshine.
I remember that day when I stumbled with pain
But you carried me in you arms and the pain was gone.
You taught me the meaning of respect, to other beings and to thyself
You modeled these traits not only in thy words but by actions on oneself
You taught me responsibility to thy spouse and to our dynasty
You modeled these through thy affection to my mother and members of our family
The greatest kings have conquered the strongest nation
But believe me; no king is greater than your affection.
As you leave this world we know
But the love you’ve showed in my heart entombed
Today I may be sad because you said goodbye
For the angels in heaven took your soul up in the sky
If mothers are the best, fathers are the greatest.
Thank you for your fatherly love, it was the best.
.

Image Source: Wikipedia

How not to mess-up your career



Image Source: Wikipedia
I've been working professionally for more than twenty years already and I am thankful that my current and as well as my previous employers entrusted me management positions that are relevant to their organization. These positions that I held and the one that I am currently holding were able to enhance my character as a manager. 

One of the most challenging task a manager usually carry is supervision of their subordinates. Sometimes, it is not enough that a manager has an exceptional technical know-how on his particular field or if he is a graduate from Harvard University. So long as a manager has the skill to manage people, he will do wonders. 

Unfortunately, managing subordinates with different sorts of personalities can be very stressful and sometimes very damaging to the emotional health of the manager. Based on my experience, there are certain type of employees who are unhealthy to work with and generally do not provide any significant contribution to the organization. These employees often times possess bad and unprofessional behavior and are generally unproductive or inefficient in their assigned responsibilities. Depending on your organization, these employees are best candidates for termination or permanent dismissal from the company. 

For those of you who want to keep your job, here are my advice:
  1. Stop hanging-out with pessimistic co-workers. Management hates employees who constantly complain even on very small things. Pessimistic employees love to see the negative side of work and never appreciate even the best effort of the company. Hanging-out with these types of people will be a good start to mess up your career.
  2. Do not exceed your deadline. If you’re the type of employee who loves to overshoot or ignore deadlines you are a good candidate for termination.
  3. Do not spread “not so nice” things about your co-workers. Spreading  gossips and rumors about your co-workers or worse – your boss, will earn you a degree in Diplomatic Relations. If you want to experience cat-fight in your workplace, this is your ticket to that match.
  4. Do not bring your family problems in your workplace. It is very common for employees to put framed photos of their family right beside their desk. However, bringing family problems in your desk is a good way to destroy your focus at work.
  5. Insubordination should not be in your vocabulary. All of us love certain words.  But in the corporate world, the word insubordination is a no-no. So if you are really in-love with that word, try holding your mouth when your boss is around.
So, you want to mess-up your career? Now you know what to do.

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